When I think about those days, I just sigh and shake my head. How silly we were about things that just didn't matter. How temporary the "wisdom" of the time.
In the technical writing world, this practice has been all but abandoned. We leave pages blank at the end of a section or the end of a document and feel no need to explain why.
This page was part of a mailing from my insurance company received just yesterday advising me of its privacy practices. There were, in fact, two such pages in the packet. I supposed they figured if they didn't put that statement there, I might think something was missing -- that I might not simply understand they had nothing more to say.
And I thought immediately about this blog of mine, so neglected for so long. Perhaps I need to post one of those "intentionally blank" pages.
It's not so much that I've run out of things to say. It's more a matter of lack of fire, lack of passion. I have felt extremely subdued for a long time now. A month or so ago I went back and read old posts in this blog and realized how irrelevant most had become. I had passion then, but the topics were temporary, and my words now sound empty even to my own ears. As a result, I took down nearly all the posts on this blog except those with videos I like and posts that still get a lot of Google hits. By "take down" I mean I put them back into edit mode rather than delete them. I can still see them myself but I no longer publish them publicly.
I thought when the Utah legislature convened this month I would surely feel passionate enough to start writing again. There are plenty of idiotic things happening up on the hill this year, like every other year. But it just keeps occurring to me how temporary all of it is. Next year it will be something else, and the next year something else. And suddenly I'm not sure if it's my discouragement that we never see any improvement, or simply that it just seems not worth expending personal energy and strength to write how I feel about it. I just can't bring myself to pick a topic and write.
It feels wrong to be silent. I feel some obligation to speak. But without the fire that moves me to do it, anything I write is just hollow. So for now, this page is left blank intentionally. Until I find my old voice or a new one and a passion for the topics that belong on this page.
6 comments:
Hey Becky, I hope you get your voice back soon.
Political blogging, in my opinion has lost a little in the last year or so, for me also. I don't know if all the passionate stands have migrated to social media outlets or what. I don't have an answer, but there is plenty more to say.
At least keep us up on your garden in the coming spring. Or maybe a review of an opera you get a chance to see up here in Cache Valley.
Hi Tim, I do think a lot of people are posting more on FB, though I'm doing much of anything political these days. Maybe one day, never can tell.
I do continue posting all about my yard and the wonderful arts opportunities this state affords us; although those are found on my person blogs http://bekkieslife.blogspot.com. You are welcome to visit there anytime. It's not the most interesting public blog, but maybe of more interest locally.
I need to take a trip to Cache Valley, it's been awhile.
Hi, Becky: I'm a liberal in Pensacola, Florida, known around the world for right-wing wackoism and general teabagger ignorance. I too feel depressed about politics these days. There isn't much to say because all the energy and hope of the 2008 presidential election has been squandered. I just don't have the energy to keep on keepin' on, as they say around here. At least as far as politics goes. Maybe springtime will bring sunshine, warmth and hope.
Nice to meet you, Michael. You're right - it's good to be hopeful anyway. And when the weather warms up, if nothing else, at least the flowers will all come up. Er, I hope they will. :)
I'm with you on this one Becky. Am avoiding toxic people and emails these day. It's not apathy instead just a common sense feeling that putting myself into a position to become annoyed and angry is not good for ones health. Hiking with the dog, nature photography, gardening etc. still finds an outlet in my nature blog. My other blog began as a outlet for politics .... now I generally avoid that and stick to book and movie reviews, history (often a backhanded opportunity for some current politics though) and the grandchildren. I still think blogging is a wonderful outlet and hope you can refind a new place in it. Good luck!
So right, TB. I'm avoiding negativity in all forms. At work that is sometimes impossible, but I find I can always walk away without engaging. That seems to be the key for me. And it is about health, both physical and mental. These cold months are hard enough to get through. I do keep up with what's going on in the world but at the same time try to maintain a buffer by focusing on the beauty and good things in my own life.
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